There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
pop tarts are not kleenex
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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