I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Randomize
