Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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