i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
