do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You need Xanax blowdarts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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