Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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