she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
