ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
