I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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