do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
