I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
