Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
