the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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