I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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