I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
