Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
