I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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