that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
