When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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