you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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