Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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