Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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