return my video game
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
