I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize