Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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