Apparently you make a good broom.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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