My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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