ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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