didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
