pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
