marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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