so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
