**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize