well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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