I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
