have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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