So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
