Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
