sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
