tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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