This is not my ceiling
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
