You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
