im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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