Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
