I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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