plz talk dirty to me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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