So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize