i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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