She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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