I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think i have two assholes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just invented taco cereal.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
