so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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