your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
