I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize