wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
