so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
