the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
