Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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