She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
