You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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