I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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