You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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