I want to stick my p in your. b.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
