The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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